Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wags' 2005 Tour Diary: Deluxe Expanded Reissue Vol. VI

Earwigay Ourtay Iaryday
Ever been to St. Augustine, Fla? No? Let me save you the trubba. Ever seen the RIGHT side of the tracks? St. Augustine hasn't. I ain't tryin' to complain, I'm just serving you some facts. That town is no good. Even Jeff Foxworthy would make fun of it. And he's a giant poop-anus. We played last night at the Fusion Grill and Bar. Sound guy was a big Ding Dong Lik-M-Aid. He kept telling Liz to turn down, and when we were done he blasted "Master of Puppets" at ear-splitting levels over the PA as if to say "You should've played real quiet-like because I'M AN ASSHOLE!" There was a lady there, Dina, who really wanted to party with us and I guess we really disappointed her 'cause we had to leave right after our set to drive 3 hours to Tampa. She was acting weird, like maybe she had just gotten into a fight with her husband or something -- real desperate. But sweet. She bought a couple of CD's, so she is worthy of note.

Some people refer to Tampa as "the city by the bay". Does Journey know about this? We are staying at Justin's dad's house. It is my first time meeting him and he's a pretty nice guy (heck, he's J's dad. Ya gotta be an ax-murderer not to raise someone as nice as Justin). Liz and Jr. are going over the atlas and it is dawning on us that we're royally fucked. The distances between the places we are playing are too far to reach in the time we have between gigs. This is a big ol' trainwreck. I would like to meet the person who booked this tour so I could hit this person with a pie. No, a brick. We drive a million miles on no sleep only to play at some podunk-shitstick-"y'all ain't on the bill"-sub-pizza-hut-outhouse-in-the-middle-of-nowhere. And maybe we'll get $20. Like I said, I ain't complaining. I'm just here for the beauty of the ride.

Lizard is obsessed with seeing Alligators while we're here, but all I've seen so far are tiny Lizards, ironically enough. Tomorrow we practice.

More later, honey. -> Me.

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